Television

Vanderpump Rules Reunion Recap, Shay it ain’t so

The trilogy completes

This week was Part 3 of the Vanderpump Rules Reunion, and it proved that the three mostly boring episodes could have easily been condensed into one interesting one. I think Bravo may have been thinking wishfully when they ordered this many episodes for the season. The third installment of this reunion was essentially talk about things that have already been beaten to death the drag-themed bachelor party; Schwartz cheating on Katie in Vegas; Jax apologizing to Stassi and Lisa. hesitating, then ultimately agreeing to officiate the Maloney-Schwartz wedding that never should have happened.

One additional item somewhat worth noting, Tom Tom the bar is still not happening because of Schwartz’ crippling fear of committing to anything other than Tequila Katie and living life as a mildly successful model/actor (and NOT the other way around). Oh, and Tom Sandoval burst into tears over the now months-old idea that Lisa Vanderpump would even consider going into business with him.

Now let’s get into the meat of the episode, The Scheana/Shay confrontation that has the potential to become the most uncomfortable ten minutes of my week. The second Shay walked on set, the entire cast fell into a series of some of the most cringe-worthy facial expressions and body language we have ever seen on Pump Rules. Honestly, Jax’s face while listening to the entire ordeal may have been enough to prove that he might be capable of empathy after all. Katie’s progressive squirmy twitch throughout the conversation proves her hyper-awareness of a potential future divorce/post-divorce televised Maloney-Schwartz fallout.

It’s clear that Scheana is winner of the breakup from the get-go where Shay admits to living with his parents and realizes on-camera that he is acquainted with Scheana’s new boyfriend. Shay tried to get in a few digs about waiting to date until the divorce is finalized, but his efforts were lame and therefore fruitless. Even when prompted by Ariana, saying that Shay has never been willing to share his side of the story, Shay remains unwilling (and possibly unable) to form a reasonable response of any kind. The only leg that Shay may have to stand on is his point that Scheana brought both his drug problem and their divorce in front of the cameras. Then again, Shay knew who Scheana was and was fully aware of what he was getting into, especially considering the televised nature of their nuptials.

Conversation peaks when it comes out that Shay was caught ‘sexting’ another girl 3 months into the marriage, around the same time that Scheana discovered his drug problem. The Lisa Vanderpump death stare that resulted from this revelation should go down in Pump Rules history. I was also fascinated how Scheana was incapable of listening to Shay speak, to the point where she blatantly touched up her makeup, compact and all, while he was talking. At the end of his time with the group, Shay got up to hug Scheana goodbye and wish her the best while she stayed in her seat like a good little narcissist. I was shocked she didn’t just continue to powder her face over his shoulder.

Tags : Bravo