Television

‘Vanderpump Rules Reunion’ Part 2 Recap

We return to the pump

One week after the premiere of the “Vanderpump Rules Reunion PT 1” and we are back for Part 2. If there’s anything we can all take away from the second part of the Vanderpump Rules reunion, it’s that there really didn’t need to be a part 3.

Between the tease of “Jax & Brittany take Kentucky,” which looks atrocious, and the random interview with Stassi’s 12 year old brother, there was only about 4 minutes of decent conversation in this entire episode.

The episode starts with the SURvivors sitting in an awkward semi-circle discussing Jax’s Botox habits. The bartender admits that he didn’t really know that Botox apparently takes 3 days to even work. Thanks to Lisa Vanderpump for that insight, she would certainly know. Next, we move on to discussing the infamous birthday trips.

Stassi’s snoozefest of a birthday-trip/shameless “Summer House” plug in Montauk managed to be even more boring than the episode itself. The only clips that were played focused on how Scheana didn’t want to eat/drink all the crap that Stassi & co. were offering. Personally, I think Scheana looks fantastic and Stassi and Katie could probably benefit from being a bit more discerning in the alcohol department. For a variety of reasons. The trip to Sonoma for Ariana’s birthday, which actually looked fun, was overshadowed in the reunion my Jax’s second boob job (that’s one more than his girlfriend) and the fact that Brittany was forced to “shower” with water from partially consumed water bottles. If I were Brittany, I would have been pissed too. I also never pegged Ariana for a NASCAR fan, but I guess what they say is true: you can take the girl out of Florida, but you can’t take the Florida out of the girl.

Lala proved to be infinitely boring during her time on screen, refusing to talk about her “relationship” at all, while attempting to defend the way she so unceremoniously ghosted Ariana’s birthday celebration. She instead went to spend time at “the BH”. Ugh. Lala is truly the Donald Trump of the Pump Rules crew as she managed to talk a lot without actually answering any questions. Kellyanne Conway should probably watch her back. Even Lala’s parting sentiments were half-assed and hilarious, particularly “I’ve done a lot of slamming with this group, and for that I am sorry.” Poor Lala, nobody warned her about slamming to close to the sun.

Two things that made me laugh out loud during this episode was Stassi claiming “I’m not a mean girl!” for all to hear (and no one to believe) and Jax having the time of his life just sitting next to James. Sandoval was right in saying that Jax and James didn’t get long because they are too similar. Rather than the unwatchable “Jax & Brittany Take Kentucky”, can we just have a spinoff “Jax & James Try Friendship” I’d also tune into the makeover-show, “Jax & Nikolai Take Stassi, Katie and Kristen”.

Other, less notable parts of the conversation include Tom Schwartz still clearly not believing in the institution of marriage, Kristen’s “comedy” featuring the unique combination of Jax’s d#@% pic and Brittany’s mother, and a montage of the Tom’s kissing because they are not-so-secretly in love. Stassi and Ariana also continue to argue about why Ariana doesn’t like Stassi (nobody cares), and Scheana fills everyone (ahem, Katie) in on the difference between alcoholism and a drinking problem, punctuated by Schwartz barely whispering “that’s fair.”

I personally cannot wait for Part 3 AKA the Scheana v. Shay divorce throw-down, because that confrontation is probably the only thing that can renew my interest in these people.

Tags : Bravo